Tuesday 30 August 2016

1000 vragen #27

Waw! we zitten al aan nummer 27.. zotjes :p 
Vraag 266 is toch wel mijn favoriet van deze reeks!

261. Wat zijn je favoriete gespreksonderwerpen?
muziek, eten, dieren, films & series.
262. Kun je makkelijk je fouten toegeven?
263. Wat wil je nooit meer doen?
Examens afleggen.
264. Wat is je standaard gemoedstoestand?
Rustig, niet te blij, niet te verdrietig, gewoon daartussen.
265. Is alles waar wat je zegt?
266. Wat betekent muziek voor je?
Mijn leven, mijn beste vrienden, alles gewoon
267. Heb je weleens een huilbui gefaket?
Heb ik al eens een huilbui gefaket? Zeer zeker, ik ben er een meester in :D 
268. Werk je graag samen of liever alleen?
Hangt er van af wat de opdracht is. Liever alleen als ik weet dat ik het alleen beter kan maar veel handen maken licht werk.
269. Voor welke fout straf je jezelf nog steeds?
Oei... ik heb geen idee...

270. Welke verliefdheid snap je niet van jezelf?

De verliefdheid op gasten die ofwel totaal niets voor mij zijn of die zoveel jonger/ouder zijn en vaak nog eens gay ook ( niet dat ik iets tegen gay's heb, maar het steekt wel als iemand gay blijkt te zijn waar ik een crush op heb XD) 

Thursday 25 August 2016

Pokémon Tag

Hy guys!

this week I did the pokémon tag :D


1) who is your favorite Pokemon?
Growlithe, without a doubt!

2) favorite Fire type Pokemon?
Vulpix, Flareon or Ponyta althoug I like Fennekin, Houndour and Litleo too! Litleo reminds me of Simba from the Lion King

3) favorite Ice type Pokemon?
The good old Dewgong :)

4) favorite Grass type Pokemon?
In the games I enjoyed playing with Sceptile and Meganium..; So one of those two :)

5) favorite Poison type Pokemon?
This is a hard one! I would go with Nidoran but I do like Ariados, Roselia and Arbok too!!!

6) Favorite Normal type Pokemon?
Persian, Pidgeot, Eevee, Ditto... And 30 more XD you know what? I pick Ditto! So I can have them all :D

7) Favorite Flying type Pokemon?
I already picked Pidgeot in the previous one...soooo Charizard!

8) Favorite Dark type Pokemon?
Umbreon & Absol although I do love a good Mightyena! 

9) Favorite Steel type Pokemon?
Lucario !

10) Favorite Fighting type Pokemon?

11) Favorite Ground type pokemon?
Sandlash :D

12) Favorite Bug type Pokemon?
Scyther :p

13) Favorite Water type Pokemon?

14) Favorite Physic type Pokemon?

15) did you know that there was that many types of pokemon?
Yes I did

16) Which Pokemon scares you the most?
Why do I have to be scared of a pokemon? If I'm scared I never can become a pokémaster

17) have you ever had a dream/nightmare of Pokemon?
Yes I did.

18) what do you think of the new Black & White Pokemon?
They're amazing but not as amazing as the original 150!!!

19) which Pokemon is the cutest?

20) A Zangoose invades your home, what do you do?
Hope he knows the Ice Beam move so we can make ice cream :D

21) you're in the park and a Lillipup walks up to you and whimpers because he is hungry... what do you do?
Give Lillipup the half of my sandwich and take him hope to give him more food :D

22) if you were drowning in water, who would you want more to help you: a Floatzel or Lady Hydra?
Both are fine :) But maybe the Floatzel is handier because, well, he has paws.

23) you arrive to school/college and you see that there is a Rattata in your backpack, how would you react?
Ask my teacher if he could sit with me the rest of the day.

24) you find a small group of Nidoran living in your basement, how do you react?

25) you see a Dratini sleeping in your bed, what do you do?
Cuddle up next to it? DUH

26) a Minccino is hungry and it begs for food from you... what do you do?
Give it the other half of my sandwich!

27) a Drilbur wants to race you... you running on land and him digging underground... do you accept?
Are you crazy? NO!

28) a Vulpix is all snuggled up in your bed, sleeping... do you let it sleep or do you kick it out?
Let it sleep, cuddle up next to it and hope it won't set my bed on fire

29) you are fishing and you catch a fish... then you see a hungry Oshawott... would you give the fish to him?
Cath another fish and give the first one to him... and the second one too

30) did you know that you have 20 more questions left?
Yes I did...

31) you find a Pikachu in your pile of clothes... what do you do?
*Happy Dance*

32) you see a Piplup in your freezer... what do you do?
Hug it and hope it will stay there!

33) a Squirtle wants to swim in your pool/lake, do you allow him to do so?
Of course! *POOL PARTY!!!*

34) a Buizel finds an item very precious to you in the water... how do you thank him?
Give him a hug and food!

35) can you guess how long this tag took to write?
Tooooo Damn long!

36) you find a Clamperl... do you take it's pearl?
No, that's stealing.

37) a Lickitung wants some food... do you give some to it?

38) you are caught in a lightning storm, and a Blitzle offers to protect you from the lightning bolts that may or may not appear... do you accept and give him something in turn, and if so, what would you give him?
Of course I do. I give him some of my picknick :)

39) you accidently step on a Pineco and it gets mad at you... what do you do?

40) do you know that you have only 10 more questions left?
Yes.. pitty!

41) you are wondering in the desert and come to a small oasis, and you see a Panpour... how do you ask for it to give you a spray of water to quench your thirst for water?
Ask politely and give some food in return

42) a giant Snoralax blocks you from entering your house... how do you move it?
Play the flute.. or the saxophone :D you never know it will work!

43) a Pidove keeps annoying you with it's "Pidove" call... do you ask to stop, or do you take action, and if so, what do you do?
I try to catch it and if that doesn't work, shut my window and put earpluggs in.

44) are you ready for questions about Legendary Pokemon?

45) you see a Reshiram appear in front of you and releases a mighty roar, how would you react?
Run, RUN LIKE THE WIND(unless I have a great pokémon with me... Then I would stay)

46) a Delibird offers you food, do you accept it?
I'm not sure....

47) an Entei appears in front of you and it doesn't look hostile... do you pet it or run away?
Pet it! (and hope it doesn't burn my hand XD)

48) a Zekrom offers to zap 5 enemies of yours... what 5 people do you tell him to zap?
oh boy... My old bullies!

49) Latios and Latias challenges you to a race... do you accept?
Euhm...no? XD

50) was this pretty fun to fill out, and on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being really bad), how bad do you want me to make more questions?

Tuesday 23 August 2016

1000 vragen #26

Hoi hoi hoi! 
Lees hieronder in welke kleur kleren je mij het meeste kan terugvinden en ga dan op zoek naar mij :p 

251. In welke sport denk je goed te zijn?
Volleybal & (boog)schieten. Ik heb 7 jaar gevolleybald en heb een goede oog-hand coördinatie waardoor ik goed kan mikken :) (wat op zijn beurt ook weer goed van pas kwam in volleybal)
252. Veins je vaak interesse?
Te vaak dan goed is eigenlijk. Maar dat komt altijd wel op z'n pootjes terecht.

253. Ben je een goede verhalenverteller?
Ik denk van wel :) 
254. Wie gun je het allerbeste?
Iedereen op de hele wereld.
255. Waarvan heb je spijt dat je het gemist hebt?
Ik heb absoluut geen idee. Een concert misschien zoals het laatste van Bryan Adams in België maar echt gemis kan ik het niet noemen. Het was jammer maar er komt (hopelijk) nog een kans!
256. Kun je goed je zinnen verzetten?
Hangt er van af welke zinnen :p Als er iets ergs is gebeurt gaat dit moeilijker dan anders. Hangt er ook van af met wie ik mijn zinnen verzet. 
257. In welke kleren voel je je het lekkerst?
258. Waarvan had je nooit gedacht dat het jou zou overkomen?
Iets breken. Ik had nooit gedacht dat ik iets zou breken in mijn hand. Aangezien ik een muzikant ben is dat iets waar ik altijd op let, dat ik niets stom doe met mijn handen.

260. Van wie word je weleens moe?

Oh een beter vraag zou zijn van wie ik niet moe word. Als ik een slechte dag heb of de persoon in kwestie zaagt te veel dan kan ik er zeer moe van worden. Kan volgens mij voorkomen bij iedereen die ik ken.

Thursday 18 August 2016

The Music Tag

Hy guys!

It's me and Shannona again with another tag :D


Favorite number of all times
S: According to my phone it's Ocean Princess - Thomas Bergersen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbEob28Dxag
M: If I had to look on my phone it wouldn't show my favorite of all times... same with my itunes... so I'm going with my gut and say Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJ9rUzIMcZQ

What number(s) would you like them to play on your funeral?
S: Sound the bugle - Bryan Adams: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dpUIzLMSils
M: Here I am - Bryan Adams: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LQ3gHQIQj8 not the original but the Spirit version!!!!!
Story of My Life - 1D - Cover by The Piano Guys https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yET4p-r2TI8
and last but not least : Letters from the sky - Civil Twilight https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Wa7dFR09vU

What song would you like as opening number at your wedding? Or if you're already married, what was it?
S: Stand by you - Rachel Platten: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3blT1IRafU
M: I have no idea at all. Really depends on who I'm going to marry... + All the songs I can think of are so sad! ... Okay maybe I found one : Made of Stars - Hovi Star https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpWKfcjXcp0

What is your most played song at the moment?
S: Miss Jackson - Panic! At the disco: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b64g0606O2k
M: If I look in my Itunes, it says Hey Jack - Carrotsquare https://soundcloud.com/carrotsquare/01-hey-jack-live-kortemark-meets-talent

Most overrated artist?
S: ...Justin Bieber obviously
M: What she said.

Most underrated artist?
S: Icon For Hire: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k00Ozs3AFB8
M: I could say Carrotsquare again but I'm gonna go with Oh Wonder :D we will hear great things from them! I know itn they are on their way to become big!!! :D https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F30G87zlRPw

Who was your idol when you were young?
S: In the good old days it was Kim Lian: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDsDXdBO2-c
M:In those same good old days it was Bryan Adams for me :p https://www.youtube.com/user/bryanadams

Do you still buy CD's ?
S: No, unless if it's as a present for somebody else.
M: No but I sometimes rent one from the library.

Favorite break up song?
S: One Woman Army - Porcelain Black (I kinda like to listen to it all the time, no break up needed :P ) : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1v_RP1Funk
M: 7 Things - Miley Cyrus ( I mean, come on XD nothing beats that!) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hr0Wv5DJhuk

Favorite music to dance to?
S: Gangnam style - Psy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bZkp7q19f0
M: Allez! Ola! Olé! - Jessy Matador https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IX2pxtkhx-M

Favorite music for a workout?
S: I'll make a man out of you - Mulan: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSS5dEeMX64
M: Cuba 2012 (DJ Rebel StreetDance 2 Remix)- Latin Formation! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9wD-DoBtEE It's a workout on its own!

What number makes you happy?
S: 10.000 luchtballonnen - K3 *runs away in shame* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fMwrdWmExg
M: Secret Mission - Galavant (WATCH THE CLIP!!!!) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLrpb8Z--fs

Song with an instant summer feeling?
S: Caribbean Blue - Enya (the title says enough) : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7H6ce85GaYg
M: Et sa bouge - Soul Brothers https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvUyrQf3OoY

Favorite youtube artists,
- Bri Ray (https://www.youtube.com/user/adventuresofbri)
- Peter Hollens (https://www.youtube.com/user/peterhollens)
- Evynne Hollens (https://www.youtube.com/user/EvynneHollensMusic)
- Adrisaurus (https://www.youtube.com/user/adrisaurus)
- Erutan Music (https://www.youtube.com/user/katethegreat19)
To name a few :)
M: oh boy... To name a few XD
- Peter & Evynne (see above :p )
- Sam Tsui
- Kurt Hugo Schneider
- Tyler Ward
- Todrick Hall
- Conor Maynard
-> http://belgiumgirlwithdreams.blogspot.be/2016/01/just-follow-them-update.html

Do you follow shows like 'The Voice, Idol..."?
S: Nope, unless I see a video pass by on Facebook
M: No, I don't.... + What she said :p

Tuesday 16 August 2016

1000 vragen #25

Hoi allemaal!
Een paar zeer persoonlijke vragen deze week.. Vragen die ik niet zo graag oplos maar ja, so be it.

241. Heb je een missie in je leven?
Missie? Hoh, er voor zorgen dat ik en mijn vrienden/familie een goed leven hebben?
242. Ben je aan iets verslaafd?
TV series, eten, andere dingen... Beter vraag zou zijn waar ik niet aan verslaafd ben...
243. Welk overlijden heeft je het meest aangegrepen?
Dat van mijn grootvader aan moeders zijde. Hoewel we het al kei lang zagen aankomen was het toch ferm aangrijpend.
244. Hoe zou de titel van jouw autobiografie luiden?
Mijn leven, niet het jouwe.
245. Hoeveel lijk je al op wie je wilt zijn?
Zo'n 75% ?
246. Wanneer moet je een relatie beëindigen? 
Wanneer het gewoon niet meer lukt. Maar praat het eerst uit voor je drastische consequenties neemt.
247. Hoe belangrijk is je werk?
Niet belangrijker dan je sociale leven! Als dat er onder lijdt is er iets serieus fout. 
248. Wat had je graag goed willen kunnen?
Blokken? Zingen? Sport (alhoewel ik goed ben in sommige sporten :p ) 
249. Maakt geld gelukkig?
Op sommige momenten zoals een reis wel ja. Anders niet echt.
250. Zou je je partner nu opnieuw uitkiezen?

Partner? welke partner?

Thursday 11 August 2016

Top 20

elements that make a TV show an AMAZING serie!

Hy guys!

I'm a big fan of TV Shows and I'm always looking for a great one I can watch when all the others are on a break. Like right now :D
My bingewatch show right now is Beauty and the Beast and I love it!
Because it has (almost) everything a great tv show has to have in my opinion  :p

If you're a developer and you're about to make a new tv show, read this.


1) A love Triangle

Cause COME ONE XD (aka number 10).
Love triangles are just a must in a tv show. And don't tell me you don't agree. Just think about it. Name 1 tv show there is not or there wasn't a love triangle at some point. They make or break the show, trust me! (Especially if the girl ends up with the guy the audience didn't want her to end up with.). A love square is good too :p

2) An actor/actress you know from other series

Know the feeling when you are watching a new show and you're like : "Hey! I know that guy! That's... from.... ! I loved that show!" Well, imagine if you didn't know 1 (guest) actor or actress that appeared on the show...
Yeah yeah, okay, you get to enjoy new ones but the connection with the show is just a lot better when you know at least one or two actors from another show.

3) Hot guy(s)

Or girls, take your pick :p But hey, we need those! *Drool Drool*

4) Something scientific/fantasy ...ish

Why do you think every show like House MD, Bones, The Flash, Supergirl, Arrow, Suits... is so successful? I'll tell you why: Because they have something you want to be able to do! You've dreamt about helping people, save lives, find the cure for a yet to be discovered disease, want to have to power to remember everything you read (Hello exams!),.....

These shows focus on things people have dreamt of their whole life.

5) Someone with a British accent

British people are just the best. Admit it, NOW.

6) Chick Flick moments

At least for some people. I chose Chick Flick moments because I just love the Happy Ever After thing. And the stereotype knight in shining armor, date, .... If you're fan of this sort of thing, you know what I mean.

7) Awkward Moments

Remember those moments in Harry Potter (you should!) where Hagrid tells the Trio something and then goes: "Should not have said that!" ? I'm talking about those awkward moments. Moments when you, the person who watches the show goes : " woops XD "or " uh oow"

8) OMG moments

This moment has two sides... A good OMG moment and a bad OMG moment.

The good one is when something happens on the show you didn't expect but really like! Like a suprise proposal (but that's actually number 9 on this list) or when the main character turns out to be pregnant.

The bad one on the other hand is when you finally find out who is behind the stuff that happend (what actually resembles to number 19 on this list) or something happens and you're not happy about it. Like a character you really like dies.

9) OMG Finally! moments

Do I have to say more about this? I think it's clear I mean moments like a kiss between the two characters with the biggest chemistry.... duh.

10) OH COME ON moments

When that kiss (from number nine) gets interrupted by someone for the fifth time in a row.

11) Hilarious moments

Something really funny happens. Or you read the title of the episode and you go, omg XD

12) Life lessons

The lesson I learned from Beauty and The Beast : Never, EVER, piss off a DA. & The roof is a great place to have a date.

13) Nightmare moments

I don't have to explain this one, do I?

14) Ooooooooooooooohhhhhh moments

See numbers 8,9 and the next one, number 15 :)

15) Melt moments <3

The cutest proposal, the birth of their first child, a puppy, kitten... Take your pick <3

16) A nerd

Cause, why not???

17) A bad guy you have to love

#BeenthereDonethat. For every one of you who has seen TVD, you know what I mean.

18) A weird relationship you did NOT see coming

The Cop and the Nerd, the dad who has an affair, the age difference....

19) A plottwist

Something you did NOT see coming from 5 episodes away. Mostly happens in a season finally but hey, you can't blame them :p They have to make sure you will keep watching.

And last but not least
20) A girl falls for the bad guy but in the end ends up with the right one - moment

A Show classic. She falls for the right guy and then they have to break up because of something and after the break up she runs into the arms of the bad guy and so one.
Or she started the show with the bad guy who was already cheating on her ( see 2 Broke Girls) and at after a while finds the right one...

Tuesday 9 August 2016

1000 vragen #24

231. Wat weiger je te begrijpen?
Dat mensen altijd lijken te denken dat ze het beter kunnen dat ik, dat ze mij moeten beschermen, helpen... Ik krijg het daar gewoon van. Laat mij het zelf uitzoeken en desnoods met mijn hoofd tegen de muur lopen. Ik ben er oud genoeg voor.
232. Welke anekdote over jezelf hoor je nog vaak?
Hoe ik vroeger als klein kindje (nog geen 1 jaar oud) meeging met mijn ouders naar het zuiden van Frankrijk in de auto en ipv te slapen wakker bleef tot over Lyon.
233. Welke dag in je leven zou je willen overdoen?
De dagen voor mijn examens. Ik zou meer leren en nog beter mijn best proberen te doen.
234. Heb je liever meer tijd of meer geld?
Beide. Meer geld en meer tijd. Meer tijd om door te brengen met de mensen in mijn leven en meer geld om er leuke dingen mee te doen.
235. Zou je willen weten wat de toekomst je brengt?
Op sommige momenten wel. Nu liever niet, ik leef nu, niet in de toekomst.
236. Kun je goed je grenzen aangeven?
Vaak wel maar als ik voor iets sta wat ik niet ken probeer ik altijd mijn grenzen te zoeken voor ik er voluit voor kan gaan.
237. Ben je ooit in een gevaarlijke situatie terechtgekomen?
Meer dan eens. Ik ben al bijna omver gereden en nog zo'n dingen. Ik ben er niet trots op maar dat is het leven zeker?
238. Heb je een tic?
Ik zeg zeer vaak ding, dinges... #HetLevenVanEenWestVlaming 
239. Is geluk een doel of een momentopname?
Geluk is zowel een doel als een momentopname. We streven constant naar gelukt maar als we het bereiken moeten we opnieuw beginnen want op het moment dat we het bereiken is het een momentopname.
240. Met wie wil je je laatste minuten doorbrengen?

Als ik in deze week zou sterven zou het met mijn ouders, vrienden en mijn kat zijn. Als ik het geluk heb om op mijn oude dag te sterven dan liefst met vrienden en familie, mensen waarvan ik hou. 


Thursday 4 August 2016

Eka elrun ono, Christopher-Elda.

Hy guys!

If been sitting here for the past hour thinking about what I could write a bookblog on this thursday. I've been re-reading the whole Inheritance cycle again these past days so the subject was not hard to find.... But with 3h on the clock, I didn't have the time to write a full on blogpost about the books. Maybe I will do that one day. Maybe not. 

I already asked my friend Jana, with whom I did the Best friend tag 3 last month to do a blogpost about these books as a collab in the future... spoiler alert : she has to read those books first... XD 

But now back to what this blogpost will be about. I thought about a few things like a thank you letter to Chris or a list of my favorite moments in Eragon, Eldest, Brisingr and Inheritance but then it hit me. 

A lot of people on the internet, a lot of friends and even my own mom and dad asked my why I used "Az Sindriznarrvel" as an Username on a few sites.(Even here!) And every single time I had to explain what it means and where it's from. And I don't mind, tbh, it feels like a little secret between the people who read the cycle and myself. It's even a reason for me to force my friends to read those books. Because, when I know they will like them, I don't tell them what it means, they have to find it out for themselves. 

When they ask me what it means for me I just tell them it is one of my favorite parts from the books. It's, for starters, a different language. That's one of the things I loved in Lord of the Rings and every other bookseries that uses different languages and builds a whole new world. Another great example of this is Harry Potter. My favorite book series of all time. 

Secondly, it's one of my favorite parts in the books when (#SPOILERALERT!) Saphira heals the sapphire at the Coronation of Orik in Brisingr. And of course the first time Eragon and Saphira see it in Eragon when they arrive in Farthen Dûr. 

Thirdly, it means The Jewel of Sindri in English... I mean, come one XD do you need more? :p I practically call myself a jewel XD Not that I am one but I do love the sound of it.

Fourthly, it's a very difficult name to write. I've seen a lot of my friends try to write it down but they just can't do it. So I'm pretty sure it's a safe name to use. 

Fifthly, the people who try to pronounce it are you hilarious. I think I can do it but I'm not so sure about it so I don't even try. But because they find it hard, they will remember it. And that's always nice! 

And now I've hit a brick wall.. I have no idea what to write now... euhm... well, this is crap...Oh maybe this:

I do want to say that, even though I didn't like the movie, I did like the cast! So I want to thank Christopher for those amazing books and the new language :) 

And sorry for this crappy blogpost. You guys know I can do better. But it has been a crappy week. You guys probably know that too. (see latest full blogpost)


Tuesday 2 August 2016

1000 vragen #23

Hoi allemaal!
Dat ik vroeger niet van de braafste was zal duidelijk blijken uit deze blog... Maar hé, wie was dat wel?

221. Bestaat vriendschap op het eerste gezicht?
Zeker weten! Ik kom vaak mensen tegen waar ik een instant connectie mee heb. Ik kan het moeilijk uitleggen maar we komen dan zot goed overeen. 
222. Gun je jezelf vaak een pauze?
Meer dan eigenlijk goed voor me is :p maar so what : YOLO
223. Ben je ooit ongewild verliefd geweest?
Ja al veel te vaak...
224. Duw je mensen in hokjes?
Aangezien ik sociaal werk studeer is dat niet echt een goede eigenschap van een sociaal werker :p Ik begin het af te leren!
225. Van welk geluid hou je?
Van krekels! Ik heb dat geluid kei hard gemist de voorbije weken. 
226. Wanneer was je het allergelukkigst?
Zeker niet deze week ( zie mijn laatste blogpost...). Het is een vraag die ik pas zal kunnen beantwoorden wanneer ik oud(er) ben.
227. Met wie ben je graag samen?
Ouders, familie, vrienden.
228. Wil je alles verklaren?
Ik ben meestal content met mijn eigen uitleg. 
229. Wanneer heb je voor het laatst je angst opzijgezet?
Toen ik voor de tweede keer op een kermisattractie ging. Hoogtevrees enzo
230. Wat is je grootste jeugdzonde?
Ik heb ooit een zo'n soort bolletjes ketting ding gestolen uit torfs... not proud of that. But I brought it back.


Monday 1 August 2016

Is life a fairytale?

Hy guys..

For a few months now I've started feeling lonely again, like there is a part of me missing. It's something I have been dealing with over the past years but this time I just can't really shake it off I guess.

To all my friends, you guys are not the problem, so lay your phone down and delete that text you were going to send me. 

It's just a concourse of stuff I've been dealing with these past months that are constantly bugging me. All fucking (sorry) day long. And I'm getting tired of them. Really tired.

School is not going as planned, I should have graduated this year and I have probably still 2 years to go. I had stuff to deal with in my family and I still do. For the first time in 21 year (so since I was born because next week is my 21st birthday) I couldn't go to my second home, my second favorite place on earth and enjoy the quiet and my other friends for a while. I can't enjoy my vacation (AGAIN (okay, yes, my fault)) because I have exams at the end of august. There is a chance we have to cancell our vacation in september(you never know what would happen) and I really need the sun and REST for some while. My mom keeps telling me I have to lose weight and if I just lose some weight, you know, losing weight should... BLA BLA BLA BLAAAA I want to scream SHUT THE HELL UP at her but I just can't. I love her and she has been through a rough time. We all have. And I'm just so scared all the time of losing people and animals I love. I'm afraid of losing my cat because, well, she's not the youngest anymore and she has problems with eating but I'm afraid I will completely lose it if I lost her. I scared, okay?

I'm even crying when I write this... sorry, I know you guys don't really care. I don't even know if someone is actually reading this or just scrolling through Blogger to find another blogpost. But you know what I actually don't care anymore. I just want a place to write whatever I want. To be who ever I be. To just be me.

But you know what's actually bugging me since the beginning of this month? The fact that I am in need of someone I can love, who's not my parents or family, who's not just any friend. Someone I can just tell everything, who will listen, talk about themselves so I can listen, watch movies with me, go to dinner with me and just likes hanging out with me but for me, not for themselves. You know what I mean?

Since I went to London with my best friend I just kept thinking about it. And after my best friend got her first boyfriend it just hit me right between my eyes. I have no idea why I can't find mister right (yes, this definitely just turned into boy drama. ). Am I too fat? Is that it? Cause guess what?: I DON'T CARE. Take me as I am or just leave me alone. It's just that other thing that has kept me bugging me this past month and I'm afraid my bubble will burst if I don't get things like I want soon. I know, you can't rush love or something like that. But I wish I could....

The update of tonight: I watched Penelope  and I'm a bit happier now. I actually smiled after the movie ended. I learned that you have to like yourself the way you are and I do and I'm happy about that cause that's the first step to happiness, I hope. Don't listen to other people and just be who you are and do what makes you happy.

I hope I didn't scare you guys off, I just needed to write this down in the middle of the night. I do love you guys and I really hope I can keep the blogging up this next month(s). 

We'll see.



PS: this was my favorite song from Penelope. I hope you guys like it too. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZTb8WxEW78